Like every American and most of the rest of the world, this is a date I will never forget. I’m sure everyone will be writing something about it. I wanted to share my experience. I lived in Rochesters, NY at the time. I lived more than six hours away from New York City. I was on my way to work; I had volunteered to pick up a fellow associate. I didn’t turn on the news that morning. I didn’t know what was happening. I thought it was a nice fall day, I was going to go to work, come home, and have an enjoyable evening.
I turned on the radio in my car and that’s when I heard the first reports from a local DJ. I remember hearing about the first plane hitting the World Trade Center. At the time, it was thought that it was just a plane crash, some type of pilot error. I was listening to the live reports until I made it to my friends house. She asked if I had heard the news, I said yes, she invited me in to see the news coverage while she finished gathering her work items. While I was there, watching live, she and I saw the plane hit the other tower. We knew at that moment, this was not an accident. I can’t even describe the sick feeling I had in my stomach, the fight to not cry, the worry for people I knew living in NYC, for friends who had loved ones living there.
Even though we wanted to stay glued to the television we went on to our job. I worked retail. I remember walking in and it was all anyone could talk about. We had customers that didn’t believe it. People who had not see the news. So, many that learned what was happening and rushed out and home to check on their friends and family. The phone lines were already jammed with people calling. We had an old television in our break room that we pulled to the front of the store so all associates and customers could see what was happening. We watched as the news reported the strike on the Pentagon, the flight that crashed in Pennsylvania. There was such a feeling of helplessness… Then, we watched as people terrified, bewildered, began to jump from the top of the towers. Then, I remember looking away from the live action and hearing the screams from the TV, as the first tower collapsed. It was surreal. We all sat there just staring at the television trying to comprehend what we just saw. Many were in denial, this isn’t happening, we are going to wake up and find this was a bad dream.
Our store was eerily quiet that day, we had very few customers. Some with tears, some angry at the world, everyone wanting to do something. Except one woman, I’ll never forget her. It’s one of the few times in my life I felt the urge to perform a violent act on a perfect stranger. It was shortly after the second tower had fell. We were still dazed, confused, no way to express the sadness… and this woman wanted a box of envelopes, she had to have a box of envelopes. We got her a box of envelopes. She was rude, mean, and then said the words that made me start to doubt humanity even more. She wanted to know why we weren’t smiling, and happy, that’s what we got paid to do. That we should turn that “shit” off and do our jobs. We weren’t getting paid to stand around and watch TV. I asked if she had seen the news, that many of us were concerned for family and loved ones. Her reply, “what do I care? I don’t have anyone there. I have my own life, I’m too busy to worry about others.”
Really? REALLY? More than 3,000 people had just died in a terrorist attack, we didn’t know what else was going to happen, and this woman, was more interested in a freaking box of envelopes.
Around noon that day, we finally got permission to close our store. Most employees hadn’t shown up anyway. We were told to go home, hug our loved ones, try to contact our families.
I remember getting home and thinking how quiet it was. There were few cars on the road. No planes in the sky, just silence. The rest of the evening was spent in front of television, the computer, listening to the radio. Just trying to find out what else was going to happen. The entire evening, into the night was spent just listening to the quiet. Nothing stirred.
I remember just sitting quietly, in fear of what the future was going to hold. We all knew there was going to be military action, I had friends in the military. I worried for them. I mourned for the people killed in the attacks and I mourned for the country. I mourned for what was…there was an innocence lost that day.
I still mourn for what was.
